“Sexual Experience” is trumpeted by mainstream society. I hate to admit it but my total inexperience does scare me. I hardly understand the informal sex terminology used by people my age, let alone exactly what goes on. Do you have any advice? GB x

Yes, don’t let society lead you to believe that your sexual inexperience will be of any relevance to your intimate relationship with your spouse. If your concern is to make your spouse feel loved within sexual intimacy it is only by good communication, and selflessness. Each and every person is so incredibly unique, by knowing how to love one person, you are not “experienced” in loving someone else.

I believe entirely that your chastity before marriage will lead you to chastity in marriage (or chastity in any other vocation), which will bring you and your spouse such great joy. You are preparing yourself for your vocation by reserving your heart completely. Is your heart not only your thoughts and emotions, but also your actions?

My advice would be to ignore the pressure of society to devalue sex. If you are called to marriage you will find that you are gifted in your ability to avoid vulgarity.

Instead of feeling fear, I would embrace fully this gift, and find comfort in the fact that you have not succumbed to the commercial view of sex in society. Let yourself not be sold, allow yourself to be private in thought, emotions, and body. This is not in any way abnormal. Do not conform to this world.

I find it honestly stupid that society believes they will be experienced in a sexual relationship with their spouse because they have had premarital sexual relationships. That is basically like believing you can become a chef by consuming large amounts of fast food. Your sexual and emotional experience is in your chastity, because only with in chastity can you understand love and acts of unselfishness. So in truth, you will be the experienced one.



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